I have loved this Family Relations class so far. It honestly has been one of my favorite classes I have ever taken because it’s very interesting and I’ve learned so much about marriage and relationships. I think writing these blogs has been one of the most helpful tools and I have learned the most through doing these because through writing, I am forced to reflect on class and the readings and really ponder on what I learned and write it down. Because of this, it has helped me really memorize and remember what I have learned and I think a lot of it is good life and marriage advice to know and do once I am actually married.
This week we had reading and lessons on communicating in relationships. When I was going to pre-marital counseling with my ex-fiancé, the biggest topic our counselor always hit on was communication. He said that the most important things in marriage were what he called the 2 C’s; communication and commitment. I thought this was interesting and it’s something I think about a lot. In a marriage, these are both important and if the communication is lacking, then most likely, the marriage won’t last.
In the reading this week, we learned about an acronym for communication: EAR. I think this is a great acronym especially because everything I’ve ever heard about communicating in relationships, especially as the man, it’s important to just listen. So because of this, it’s easier for me to remember. The ‘E’ stands for empathy. The ‘A’ is for assertiveness. And the ‘R’ is for respect. As part of this acronym, there are the 5 secrets of effective communication. These 5 secrets include: 1) The Disarming Technique. 2) Thought Empathy and Feeling Empathy. 3) Inquiry. 4) I “Feel” Statements. 5) Stroking. I love these 5 different secrets. A lot of these were made to be different tactics to use when there are disagreements. There is positive communication when everything is going well but we know that there will always be disagreements in every single relationship so it’s always good to have different tactics and things to try to overcome and get through the disagreements as well as you can through having open communication and figuring out the problem.
I’ve never been married and I’m excited to be and work on communicating with my wife, but I have seen many examples of good and bad communication in marriages of family and friends. I know that the happier and healthier relationships are due to good communication. It’s important in marriage to realize and remember that you’re supposed to be one. This means that communication and problem solving should be a priority and the decisions should be mutual.
I loved the quote by President Ezra Taft Benson this week that said, “Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, ‘He ain’t heavy; he’s my brother’.” I loved this quote because for me, when I was reading and studying this topic, I only was thinking about communicating and problem solving with your spouse in marriage, but I was reminded from this quote that you also have your parents and siblings that are family that requires a lot of communication skills. I think any relationship requires good communication for it to be a strong and long-lasting relationship.
It’s always to have good life lessons and advice to be reminded of. Communication in relationships and with any individual or group is, in my opinion, always going to be one of the best traits we can continue to learn and grow.
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