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Family Dynamics Now & Forever

There are many qualities and characteristics that make up an individual. As multiple individuals come together, they add and benefit from each other’s personalities and qualities, and create a family. A family is, “A group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.” Families are ordained of God. There is a reason God has put each of us in a family or at least that’s His plan whether His children follow through with that or not.

Growing up my mom always told us kids, “I’m as happy as my saddest child.” I definitely witnessed this quite a bit growing up. My mom always worries about her 5 kids. I also noticed that when someone in the family was struggling, it affected the whole family in some way. This also goes the other way because when someone is happy or accomplishes something big, usually the rest of the family and other individuals celebrate and are happy for their family members. I know for me, I want nothing more than seeing my siblings and parents happy and succeeding in their goals and dreams.

My mom always wanted to have family time because she thought it was super important. It is important but sometimes I think what my mom failed to realize was that we are still individuals and should be able to make our own choices. Family time definitely helps the family grow closer and stronger as time goes on even though there was more arguing just because I felt like we were constantly together.

I feel like my family is a pretty good functioning family. We aren’t perfect by any means. No family is perfect. We all argue and fight but compared to the average family, I feel like we get along and function better than most. Just having 2 parents that love each other and their children is a big step ahead. Then you add siblings that get along and love and respect their parents and it’s quite a big game changer.

Families are very important. I love people watching everywhere I go. I often ask myself as I watch families, “What happens behind closed doors when they aren’t in public?” I ask this because I’ve heard plenty of people, whether it’s at church or school, say that the Smart family is perfect and we all get along. What they don’t understand is what actually goes on in the walls of our home. And every family has their own problems and crap they go through.

Observing my own family, families that I know well, along with families I don’t know at all has made me reflect on how I am as a son and brother and who I need to be. It’s also made me think about what I want my future family to be like and how I can be the best husband and father. I’ve learned a lot especially watching my own dad and the kind of father he is to me and my siblings along with how he treats, loves and respect my mom.

It’s also interesting to look at the difference between oldest and youngest children. I am the oldest and have a twin sister. I also think there is a difference between sons and daughters. The way I was parented is way different than how my 14-year-old brother is now being parented. My parents are way more lenient with him than they were with me. That’s just how it will always go for most families though. My sister is the only daughter, so my parents spoil her so much. I’m not sure how different it would be if she wasn’t their own daughter. Every family is different and every child will be parented different. This is the beauty of the family and parenting.

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