Growing up, there was not a day that went by where I didn’t hear my mom give me some piece of marriage advice. Most of the time the advice given was, “The most important decision you will ever make in life is who you marry.” I always would roll my eyes and be like “I know I know.” Now that I’m older and have dated quite a bit of different girls and seen my friends get married, I totally understand it. I always thought my mom’s opinion was irrelevant but now I respect it and I have realized that she didn’t study marriage and family for nothing.
A year ago, I was engaged. There were many red flags I ignored prior to proposing. Once I proposed, my parents got more serious about telling me they would support me if I went through with the wedding but they strong encouraged me to reconsider. They saw that as we got engaged she become more manipulative and controlling. I also saw this so I decided to call off the engagement just 10 days before the wedding. It was one of the hardest decisions but looking back, there’s not a day I regret the decision I made. My mom tells me all the time that I dodged a huge bullet.
Although it was a hard decision and was not an easy couple months, I learned a few lessons that I couldn’t have learned any other way. I learned what is actually important and what should be priorities for what qualities I look for in my future wife.
It’s crazy to me how blinded we can be in relationships even when people we love that see it from the outside looking in, are telling us what is happening and to get out. Then if we actually decide to get out of the relationship for whatever the reasoning may be, we look back and we see what our close friends and family were telling us about. Love definitely blinds people which is dangerous but it shouldn’t matter if the relationship is going well.
The longer I get into my 20’s the more I think about how important choosing an eternal companion is. It’s not just a relationship and spouse you choose for this lifetime that you can get out of but you literally are married to them for this life and through the eternities that never end. I’ve truly come to learn that whoever you marry needs to be your best friend. When you come home from a tough day at work, once you’re married you no longer go home to mommy and daddy.
From here on out, dating has never been more important. I shouldn’t just take a girl on a date for a courtesy date or to be nice. This is go time for me. I need to treat every date like I’m going out with the girl I could potentially marry and end up with for eternity. Because of this, I need to be my best if I want to marry the best. As my mom always says, “If you want to marry a 10, you better make sure you’re a 10.” I think it’s important to get myself right before I seriously date and once that happens, it’s important to take multiple girls on dates and get to know them. I’ve learned that dating these days, it’s important to have meaningful conversations such as asking them questions like what their biggest life goals and dreams are. If a girl doesn’t know or has goals and dreams that don’t match mine, then I know she is not someone I should continue to pursue for the most part.
I think there is no one that’s perfect and there are many different girls that I could marry. This is why it’s important to date many girls and make sure I make the right choice as to who I marry for eternity.
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